married life · medical life · Musings · Uncategorized

2018: Stop Chasing and Start Living

So, last week I applied for a promotion at my job; I wasn’t sure I wanted it but I knew that I would never actually get it if I didn’t apply for it. Then, last Monday there were interviews, which I completely forgot about. I got so involved in Christmas stuff and baking that I forgot I was supposed to prepare for the interview.

I went in there, nervous as all hell, and proceeded to have my interview. I couldn’t sit still; my hands kept moving and my foot wouldn’t stop jiggling. I talked too fast, didn’t have a straight thought process, and I was extremely happy when it was over.

I figured I didn’t do well…I mean it went okay but I figured my supervisor would hire someone else, someone who knew more or would be able to do more. Oh well, right?

Tuesday morning my supervisor called me into the office and told me that I got the position. I was going to be promoted from an assistant to a specialist. This meant that beat out at least two of my co-workers that I knew of, and others as well. And, not only that, but I was the person to beat…the score to beat.

Definitely not what I was expecting.

So, the rest of that day, and the rest of this past week, I thought about my new position, and my job, and everything. And then I realized something…I accomplished more than I thought I did before my thirtieth birthday.


Started my first real job as a clerk in a clinic

Got married

Moved up in my job and moved into an Human Resources Assistant position.

Moved into my first house…a house, not a condo or apartment but full house (not that there’s anything wrong with an apartment or a condo…but a house was always my dream)

Moved up from a Human Resources Assistant to a Human Resources Specialist

That is a lot of stuff, if you think about it. Especially that all of these things happened within THREE years. Now, hopefully, within a year and a half, I will have started my family with my husband.

Yet, up until this past week, I didn’t think I’ve accomplished enough. I continued to look for that “thing”. You know, the thing that was going to really set my life on fire…the thing that will change EVERYTHING ELSE for me.

How ridiculous am I? I was chasing something that, now thinking about it, I don’t think exists. I keep wanted to “start” my life and some how lost the fact that it already started. That I’ve already accomplished so much; I’ve achieved so many milestones.

When  I was a baby, the doctors didn’t know if I was going to live for weeks, let alone years. I’m sure none of them thought I would live just about three decades. And not only that, but I’ve excelled. I’ve battled demons, hit curve balls, and generally kicked some ass. I did very well for myself.

It only took me to this week to realize it.

And I realize, now, how happy with that. I’m ecstatic. I’m starting my new position on January 7th, a month before my thirtieth birthday. I’m going to be a specialist at the age of thirty, and making almost 50K a year at that.

How can I not see how much I’ve grown?

So now that I realize just how far I’ve come, I’m going to start learning how to enjoy the life I have. How to be present in the day by day things and not search for new things in the future. That doesn’t mean I won’t strive for more…more experiences, more milestones, but I’m going to be happy where I am for as long as I need to be there. I will do the things I want to do, the ones that make me happy, and I’m not going to worry about things that haven’t happened (or try not to worry at least). I’m not going to force myself to do anything anymore, unless I want to do it.

I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, so 2018 is going to be about not chasing imaginary things and start enjoying where I am, right here and right now.

so can’t wait for 2018!

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